May 2010

Albert Camus once wrote, “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” While those words seemed to be focused on the individual’s struggle in the face of life’s challenges and his/her resolve to be victorious despite circumstances, it also has wisdom to impart with regard to some of the interpersonal issues that can arise during life’s literal winter season. The winter months come to us with certain expectations attached: the joys of the holidays, celebrating with family and friends, the giving and receiving of gifts, winter sports and other activities. But an equally present reality is described by the term “winter blues” which exists for a reason: the cold temperatures, the reduced daylight hours, precipitation of various kinds, remembering holidays past that will never be again, yet we long to recapture them or feeling pressured (either internally or by societal forces or perhaps both) to put on one’s ‘game face’ when what you really want is to isolate yourself and wait it out. For many people the winter months can end up creating a tangible disconnect in their ability to function.

Expectations can open up whole worlds to us, can engage and challenge us; but they can also cause us to seek after that which is not in our best interest. Expectations can create friction between us and our loved ones, testing and straining our relationships, sometimes without us even realizing what is happening, what is at the heart of the increased tension and the rise in arguments. Decisions about whose family the holiday should be spent with and how much money should be spent on gifts (which for some of us equates to increasing our debt) can all play a role. This year the Washington metro area experienced an unusually severe winter and while one of the upsides was the snow days, those days also meant that some of us became the victims of cabin fever and a little too much “togetherness time.”

While there are no 100% guaranteed solutions to the problem of fractured relationships during this time of year, perhaps we can look again to Camus’ words, reminding ourselves that we have the possibility within us to recognize and acknowledge the issue and then to do something about it. This can be the beginning of a conversation with ourselves about our personal attributes and coping strategies that may work effectively for us in terms of helping us to feel better, healthier, more in control and thereby, decreasing the likelihood that every winter we are destined to be vulnerable to and held captive by those winter blues!

In Loving Memory and a tribute to Dr. Dorothy Irene Height (1913-2010)

Although, the country has said their goodbyes to Dr. Height, her legacy lives on in history.

This is how she wanted to remembered: “I want to be remembered as someone who used herself and anything she could touch to work for justice and freedom…I want to be remembered as one who tried.” We honor her.