Domestic violence – what comes to mind when you hear those words? What images flood your

 thoughts? Some of you may be survivors; some may wonder how anyone could commit such acts, while others will question why any woman would put up with such treatment. There is a place for dialoguing about all of these issues, but just for a moment, let us think about another dimension of this timely subject.

What about the kind of abuse that does not leave any physical evidence, no visible reminders of what has taken place; but whose imprints are embedded in some of our lives, as surely as muddy footprints across a clean floor or the traces that remain after a crime scene has been dusted for fingerprints? I am talking about the scenarios that get played out time and again, where words become our weapon of choice – where our emotions are used against us to demean and control. Or perhaps, something far less obvious but with the same precision and power to damage as the sharpest blade: I am talking about the ways in which we take advantage of those who are closest to us, by simply not being present and available…when we set other priorities above our loved ones…devote our time, talent and energies elsewhere, investing in everything but home. And clergy are not exempt from these temptations. Perhaps without even realizing it, we can inflict very real harm on our loved ones, when we feel that we can be all things to all people – when we try to solve every problem, meet every need – when we cannot say no. Eventually, something has to give…who or what will it be?