October 2009

A Safe Relationship

Domestic violence is defined as control by one partner over another in a dating, marital or live-in relationship. Domestic violence is not a new epidemic, it spans across every culture, country, and age group. It affects people from all socioeconomic, educational, and religious backgrounds and takes place in same sex as well as heterosexual relationships.

What You Should Know

• Physical abuse is the use of physical force.
• Sexual abuse means any forced sexual activity.
• Emotional abuse includes threats, constant criticism and put-downs.
• Controlling access to money and controlling activities are other abusive behaviors.
• Violence against a partner or a child is a crime in all states. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) Intimate Partner Violence fact sheet July 10, 2006- approximately 1.5 million women and 800,000 men have been raped or physically abused by their spouses or partners. Unfortunately many of these cases go unreported.
• One-half of homeless women and children are fleeing domestic violence.
• Teen-aged girls are especially vulnerable and should know the signs of abuse. Always tell someone if you feel that you are in danger. If you were hit once, it will happen again. Abuse in this age range generally tends to be sexual.
• Tens of thousands of seniors across the United States are being abused or harmed in some way often by people who are directly responsible for their care. Elder abuse can occur in any of the types mentioned but the most common is physical.
   

Warning Signals

Has your partner…

1. Hit, slap, choke, kick or punch you?
2. Threatened to kill you?
3. Called you names?
4. Criticized things you do or say, or how you look?
5. Destroyed things that are special to you?
6. Limited where you can go, what you can do, or whom you can spend time with?
7. Unexpectedly showed up at your work place or school just to check up on you?
8. Forced you to have sex against your will?
9. Promised not to hurt you again?
 

If you said “yes” to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. Consider getting help, talk to someone you trust immediately. There are people who can help you.
 

Speak up

If you think a friend is being abused:

If you suspect that someone you know is being abused - SPEAK UP. If you are undecided or thinking it’s none of your business - you could be wrong, or the woman might not want to talk about it – keep in mind that expressing your concern about her safety or pointing out what you have observed will let the person know that you care and just may even save her life.

There are numerous domestic violence community organizations available to help you across the country in every state and county. For our purposes, commit this number to memory

800-799-SAFE
The National Domestic Violence Hotline