March 2010

Ituned into the View, and one of the “The Hot Topics” happened to be about Barbara Walters’ upcoming interview of Jenny Sanford. Jenny Sanford is the wife of the former Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford. You know, he’s the Governor who lied about his whereabouts. The one that was reported to be hiking, then later admitted on national television that he was really with his Argentine mistress, his soul mate.

To my surprise Ms. Sanford was a guest on the show. She was promoting her memoir: Staying True. During the brief interview with Whoopi and the girls, Ms. Sanford spent her time explaining, justifying, and sometimes excusing the early warning signs of her husband’s infidelity.

Remember, Elizabeth Edwards, her husband John was the Presidential candidate who lied about cheating and fathering a child outside of their marriage. She and Jenny Sanford both stated that the warning signs went unnoticed because they (each) were preoccupied raising the children and supporting their husband’s political careers.

Still, Ms. Sanford couldn’t explain why she over looked the earliest warning sign of all. When selecting wedding vows her, husband to be, Mark didn’t want to include a vow of faithfulness. Jenny Sanford said that at the time they discussed it, she admired his honestly.

Wait-a-minute, isn’t that the point of getting married? Why commit? Why not live life single? I thought the reason for getting married was to forsake all others. To have a civil marriage unites one legally to property gathered during the course of marriage. A vow of fidelity means it’s you and me babe, not you, me and s/he.

Let’s take heed to these women’s story. From the onset guard your heart, be selective and go with your gut when things appear to be in disarray. Don’t lie to yourself or condone your partner’s questionable behavior. Lord, don’t close your eyes to warning signs. Don’t self sensor yourself. Speak up when you feel that things in your marriage aren’t right. Please don’t get married for the sake of being in a relationship when you know from the brining it is suspect. The idea that things will get better after marriage is a falsehood.

Now, I admire Jenny Sanford and Elizabeth Edwards for their heroism. These women are publicly rediscovering themselves despite their loss of love. Each of them have written memoirs, Elizabeth Edwards’ book is entitled Resilience. A heroine with terminal cancer, she is an outspoken advocate for public healthcare in this country.

Jenny Sanford is a heroine of self. Starting anew after years of marriage is no easy feat, especially publicly. Already critics are saying she’s playing the victim, and the book: Staying True is really an attempt to gain public absolution or gentle revenge. To that I would say, just maybe her writing the book was therapeutic, a part of her healing process. Share your thoughts by clicking on feedback or join our social network.

Sources for this discussion include –The Washington Post Book Review: Staying True by Staff Writer, Ruth Marcus 02/05/10 and ABC’s 20/20 Barbara Walter’s Interview and Jenny Sanford’s Gentle Revenge by Hanna Rosin 2/10/10

Blessings,

Chap