July 2007

F

or my 35^th birthday I received the book Four Poems Celebrating Women, Phenomenal Women by Maya Angelou and while rearranging my library I rediscovered the book. The inside cover read:

To Robin,

Because you take the “High Road” you too, are a Phenomenal Woman as well.

Enjoy “95.”

I sat on the floor reminiscing or should I say, time traveling. In 1995, my life was filled with legal haggling. After fifteen years of marriage, I was going through a nasty divorce. Lord, when I looked back I conclude that I had purchased stock in the county’s family court system. Custody, and property settlement hearings, and for the first time paternity of my children was in question because I filed for child support.  

While celebrating my 35^th birthday at dinner with friends, I stated that “I plan to take to high road.” The high road is simply taking the easiest and most direct method in handling adversities head-on. My techniques were integrity, honesty with self and others, and respect for all. I got honest with myself---no more excuses, pointing figures, or hiding from the truth. I began praying for forgiveness because we were both responsible for the failure of our marriage. I send evenings reading Scripture and journaling. I started seeing a therapist with the children weekly. I included my ex-husband in the boys’ lives, involving him with their school, sporting and church activities. I learned to take the high road by focusing on the present and not the past. I moved on my building a new life. I grew vastly tried of being angry. I knew I couldn’t change the events of my past but I could work on the present. I woke up and decided no more bickering. I wanted to live in the present not relive the past anymore. 

What about you?  Is it possible to take the high road? Can you be honest with yourself and others including your children? It is my hope and prayer that you do. 

Peace and Integrity, 

Chap